There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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