Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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