ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
