woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
