Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
