Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
