I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
