it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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