I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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