That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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