Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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