Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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