Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
