Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
