Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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