In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
