Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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