Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
