Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
