Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Oh god it's open bar.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
