Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
