Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize