I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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