I want to walk on stilts...naked
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
