It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
