She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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