you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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