You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
