As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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