we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
