why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
