ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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