So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
