There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
