this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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