I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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