Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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