I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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