i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
