fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
