So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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