It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize