Duck Duck Cougar?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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