Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
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