Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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