went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize