blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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