i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
