Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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