We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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