I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
