so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How naked do you want me to be?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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