Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize