I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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