My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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