did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
