tell your sister to shave her snatch
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
