Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
This is my gift to your gina
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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